An Open Letter To The Guy Who Defiled The Restroom Last Saturday

Dear Sir,

What is the matter with you? I mean really, have we as a society devolved to the point where it has become acceptable to leave that kind of mess in a restaurant bathroom. I am not a prideful man but I have to work at a horrible job for very little money, I haven’t been able to get the smell of wings out of my nostrils for weeks now, and I do all of this because I love to fish and not much else. You sir apparently like to crap yourself in restaurants and rely on the servers to clean up your mess. I have often asked myself if pursuing my passion is worth all the crap (both literal and figurative) that I have to put up with. I mean when you work in an office I am pretty sure no one asks you to dispose of their recently soiled underwear (I might be wrong on that one it’s been a while since I worked in an office). So last Saturday you really forced me to examine what I am doing with my life…yesterday I went fishing.  I would like to thank you for really bringing my life into focus with your unfortunate poopy accident. I can finally call myself a hardcore fisherman, because if I am willing to pick up another man’s stained drawers to keep fishing I am pretty sure that qualifies me.

If I ever find out who you are, I will punch you directly in the throat,

Dave “Super Hardcore” Grossman

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